happy thoughts.....

Ah.....happy thoughts. Guess what! Me n my yummy Phil are going to New York for about 5 days next month. We're both really looking forward to it because neither of us have ever been there before and we can't wait to see the place. There'll be loads for us to see and do an it'll be great to get away, just the two of us. Phil wants to hit the shops ( for toys and gadgets mainly!) - just his style. I think he's expecting me to want to hit the clothes stores... so who am I to disappoint him!? Hee hee! really, I'd quite like to see the sights and maybe go iceskating on central park if I can. Most importantly I want to have the time of my life with the man I love... Yay!

sounding off - ish

hi it's been a while and that's probably because I've been working my little a**e off at the bar. Plus our puter was misbehaving and wouldn't let me log on at all!! I've spent most of the spare time I have just kind of doing nothing and being kinda quiet cos I just don't know what else to do with myself. i'm supposed to be getting stuff sorted out but just don't seem to be getting anywhere with it. It's really depressing because this is my career we're talking about here. It's one of the biggest things in my whole life and I don't know for certain if I'm even gonna get it! What if I don't? Then what am I gonna do? Just not have a damn career?! I don't think I could do that. I don't want to stay in my current job for ever and there is nothing else I really want to do except care for people but how will I carry on doing that if I don't become a nurse? all I'd be is a failure. A student who wasn't good enough to clear the final hurdle. I don't want that to happen but I don't feel as though I have any control over the situation. It kind of caught me up in itself and snowballed off way beyond my reach... or at least that's how it feels most of the time. Anyway, if anyone actually read this then hope I didn't bring you down too, and thanks for the therapy. all you out there take care xx